Stepping Up: When Integrity Can't Lose

After a long day (and night) I patiently await my bus with a group of equally chilly, tired people. Once the bus pulls up I can see it's going to be an interesting ride- it's packed. After a few folks get off I think, oh this isn't so bad, there's more than enough room to accommodate all the people trying to get on. I let a woman with her child get on before me and proceed to step up just to get stuck at the head of the bus. Nobody's moving and I can't really understand why. I lean over to see an elderly woman leaning heavily on her walker, unable to push the thick metal past the initial first few rows. The interesting part is that there are TWO rows on each side of the bus (something that seems brand new to me) designated as "priority seating". There, in these saved seats are two young people and two adults, one woman, one man. They aren't budging. A woman behind me voices her frustration with not being able to get on the bus and the poor elderly woman tries desperately to shove her walker, that isn't moving, towards the back. "I can't get it past and there's nowhere for me to go!" she yells back, both frustration and panic fill her throat. I can hear the shuffling of feet and breath behind me and look at all four people sitting comfortably, silent in the first few rows. Not because I was tired, but because this is a phenomenon that often irks me, I spoke up. Little did I know, this was going to start a commotion.

"Come on, we're trying to get on!!" Voices from the threshold, half cold half impatient yelled in.

I scooted myself further in, looked directly at the 4 people sitting passively in the priority seating, and raised my voice over the muffled peanut gallery starting to gain momentum,"you all are sitting in priority seating and that's where she needs to go so you need to get up and move!" A woman to my left, buckled tightly into her wheelchair cosigned, "Yeah, that's the problem!" Still no movement. The elderly woman, still struggling, now with mildly embarrassed body language, attempted to back up only to be boxed in further. Now, I was frustrated. I took a deep breathe, consciously choosing my language to avoid fighting on the already dense bus, "She cannot get her walker past here, and that's not the problem; the problem is that you all are being rude and you're keeping all these people waiting. You need to get up and give her those seats." People behind me added "yeah"s and "seriously"s. The young lady sitting stubbornly in the seat looked up and said, "she just needs to adjust herself, that way everybody can just calm down." Ironically, there was severe attitude in her voice. Wheelchair woman sitting across from her added, "OR you can just get up and act like you got some manners!" Again, the people yelled forward: "Get up! Move!" That did it. All 4 people got up and moved rigidly towards the back.

Still, nobody helped the elderly woman. She struggled now to lower herself and move her walker. People kept complaining..."I still can't get it!" "It's still in the way!" I rushed past the woman planted heavily in front of me, helped the woman take a seat, and moved her walker to one side, giving people the space to get in. I moved towards the back, shaking my head in discontent "Really it's that hard to help somebody?"

I met eyes with a young man who, in agreement, shook his head. A few seconds later, an older woman tapped my shoulder and began to express, to me and everybody who could hear her, about how disappointing it is to see people act so stubbornly and foolish when someone is in need. "It wasn't that lady's fault! I wasn't mad at her- it was them! Just get up!"  She was obviously angry. A few seconds before I reached my stop another woman behind me tugged at my sleeve, "You know it's common sense, and although you know it's logical, they don't". I let it sink in for a moment and before I jumped off, I turned to her and said, "it's just manners". The doors closed behind me, locking in voices responding and formulating their own opinions: there was a whole new conversation starting.

It annoys me, greatly, that people slip away from simple empathy and humanity. It really isn't that hard to extend a hand. To me, it's just selfish and lacks compassion. Yet, despite this goofy situation, I was really glad and proud that people were speaking up, not blaming the victim, but instead holding those stubborn people accountable for just being plain ol' rude. And it worked. It showed a tremendous amount of integrity for people to stand up for this woman. I was really proud of myself too. It's hard sometimes to know that you have to be the ring leader. What if I hadn't said anything? That poor woman would have been attacked instead of identifying the real people causing the problem. I see events like this take place sometimes and I don't say anything. I continue to read, listen to  music, or simply space off. Not until I reflect on it later does it dawn on me that I have a responsibility to justice do I feel guilty.

WE all have this responsibility. It's a part of the human experience. It's difficult sometimes and you have to put yourself out there for a minute, but you'll find soon after that it's much more gratifying.